6.21.2010

I have learned alot of things...

..the hard way. I've been told of some things by people who have the wisdom far beyond my years about my lessons learned, but never took heed. I've never been completely oblivious to some things, but just didn't take caution with them. I guess that's the only way we can learn things though right? Is to make a mistake and learn from it? It's just that some are more easily learned than others. Everyone has a different outlook of things. Our opinions are ever-changing and different. No one agrees on one single thing because we weren't meant to. We just have to accept other's opinions and keep our mouths closed when it's time to hear something that we think differently about. Even when it comes to things like our Faith, two people can be Christians and read the Bible but they interpret it differently...but we can't say our interpretation is right because it may have been meant for us to interpret it differently.

The most important thing I've come to learn is that money is nothing compared to the love of your family and the happiness we can derive from living simply. Money is the root of all evils, but we must have it to live because we have bills and necessities to buy for ourselves and our children. I've been blinded by all kinds of glitzy-glam infomercials and commercials and advertisements of things that I know down the road I will never use to it's full advantage. There have been so many things that have been "new" and "cool" that I've convinced myself I wanted and watched others all around me have then after the new wears off I feel so relieved I didn't get it. It's just a fad and a phase that hypnotizes us into believe our lives would be better with "it" and really we have absolutely no use for it.

Material possessions mean nothing to me. It's just things. We can't take it with us when we go. Believe you me I love to have things, I have dreams and wants and needs just like the next person but know that alot of them are fantasies. I want to win the millions of dollars you can win by playing powerball or a couple thousand on a scratch-off ticket, but odds in those are a lot to none. I want things others have and there are others who want things that I have. It's a never-ending cycle. But I've learned to never be envious, never greedy and most of all never to keep up with what I know I shouldn't. My life hasn't been spoils and riches by no means. I'm not gonna spill you a sad sappy story but my sisters and I were not spoiled with material possessions by no means but we were taught to live happily with what we could afford and to appreciate the small things in life and that some of the best things are free.

Another thing I learned is to love like there's no tomorrow because you never know when someone you love .. or you .. will be gone. I am down to one set of Grandparents whom I love dearly, my Pappaw J.H. and Mammaw Stanley. I met my Great-"Granny" on my Mom's side, my Great-"Mammie" on my Dad's side and my Dad's Dad, Pappaw Aubrey. All of them were some of the greatest grandparents you could ask for. I didn't know Granny long, she died when I was young. I spent countless days at my Mammie and Pappaw Aubry's house and Pappaw J.H.'s with tons of cousins as playmates. Pappaw J.H. raised 8 of his own kids so he never had one grand kid at a time he had 10 if not more! Those days were so innocent and fun and carefree! And Mammie and Pappaw Aubry had us spoiled to her great home-cookin..she's the reason i started getting chunky at a young age I think ;)

I also learned to forgive quickly, whether it is accepted or not. A grudge is as heavy as an elephant and I don't want to hold either one. Such a weight to bear when we're mad at something for so long and it turns us hateful and bitter. We need to let go of our petty differences and set aside our anger. Life it too short to be mad all the time. I learned that the hard way too. Constantly finding something to nitpick about. Complaining about things I shouldn't be and holding on to things that should be let go. God is showing me my way, how to accept things as they are and how to love things and live and let live. My husband wants to do things himself sometimes and although I want "us" time I know he needs "him" time too. So I've began letting him fish more often or go riding or swimming because he's mine all week long so at least one weekend day should belong to him right? :-) I will never try to change him, after all the way he is now is the reason I fell in love with him in the first place right? He has changed a lot in the past 7 years, don't get me wrong but some things should stay original "Jon".

I have also been slowly learning how to read people, notice I said read, which is different than "judge". No one should be judgmental to a person, that's for God and God only. But you can read someone, as in figure out quickly who they are so you know whether you should trust them or not. There are a lot of snakes in the grass out there, or lions in sheep's clothing as they're also commonly called, two-faced people who we should never tell anything we wouldn't want repeated and people who can't handle the truth. I've always tried to be sincere in my relationships with everyone and I'm never partial to one more than the other. I treat all as equals at the appropriate times.

Now that I've said all that I am not afraid to say I am still not perfect, not the best friend I could be, best daughter, mother, sister wife, none of that. I am simply the best I know how to be right now. Hopefully with time my rough edges will be smoothed and I will learn to be better in all aspects of my life. But until then I will turn my life over to God and let Him shape and mold me into the woman I am supposed to be. I am not ashamed of my imperfections or flaws and I never regret anything because life is too short for regrets. I will live fully, laugh often and love much and know that I am living my life One Day at a Time~

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