My Outlook-My Honesty

Lately I have had a hard time using my positive outlook to it's best advantage. We all have rough and rocky roads in life but I was raised to never let anyone see your weaknesses because that in itself is a weakness. So when I run into a road block I handle it as best I can but sometimes have the aid from a few people close to me in my life. I have a general idea in how I think wish the world would work and it isn't correct because after all it is just an opinion. But what matters is that it is my opinion and that means it is my way of thinking and my way of believing and it's best not to question it unless it's forced upon you.

I was raised by two wonderful people. A strong-willed woman who can endure nearly anything and keep going and a musical man who pushed me out of my comfort zone and introduced me to my voice at an early age. Growing up with these great people taught me to be my overall and in a few words bubbly, outgoing and outspoken self. I smile a lot, especially in the presence of friends and family and I can make conversation out of anything. Talking comes easy to me and I always have something to say. I love to meet new people and have always made friends easily. Not to say I am a "popular, cool or down right great" person but that I'm just this way because I am ME!.

I have always walked to the beat of my own drum, never to the beat of another's. I've been a loner at times, isolating myself in my own little world of utter chaos--but beautiful disasters. I always learn better alone and prove to impress myself with my own reasoning. I try to never be boastful or to be superior to my fellow human but some may read me that way and all I can say to that is that they're wrong. From childhood I have been artistic-I have tons of certificates and trophies and awards from elementary school from the reflection contests that were held every year. It was a series of different categories in which each student who chose to made entries such as story-writing, drawing, imagining and so on. I loved doing that along with science projects and other artsy things.

Art was my favorite class. I painted and drew and molded things and it made me feel like I released some sort of "piece" of myself into my work. I feel so accomplished and self-satisfied when I complete a project and actually like it because I judge my work with very high expectations. We went through numerous notebooks, sketch pads, paint containers, brushes, pencils, disposable cameras and about three years ago I started sewing and ended up with many frustrations and "I give ups" because I had to teach myself how to do everything on it. But eventually I learned most of everything and still am not a pro by any means but know how to use it enough to accomplish things I want. I've made a dress, several quilts, pillows, PJ pants, wipe case covers, camera strap covers and a tote so far. But it's all a learning process and I hope to expand my knowledge as I go.

I hope that everyone has something they can express themselves creatively with. Whether it be photography, art, sketching, painting, scrapbooking, crafts, building or any other thing that we may do in this lifetime. But with hobbies comes originality, individuality and ideas. How would something be perfected or made your own if you didn't have some sort of guidance? I have to have a pattern guide to make things on my sewing machine; I have to look up directions on how to make any other things on it; I google projects that I could do; I look at other portraits or pictures when I draw/paint something. But in the end credit is given where it's due-because I had to know what I was doing before I did it.

In another light I want to clear the air with what people may think that I am thinking. I am very straight-forward, I don't hide my feelings or regret saying things because I obviously meant it at some point if I said it. I take credit for my mistakes and apologize when I see due but things I won't do is to let something slip by or let something go on that I clearly see isn't right and that I don't agree with. I want people to tell me if I offend them or have hurt their feelings rather than finding out from so-and-so that they are referring to me in a post or having to assume that they are. If asked I'm going to tell the truth, I can't sugar coat it because I've already posted what I thought so might as well go on with where I was going.

I want to be able to tell someone something that hurt me as well without expecting to be shunned, have the back turned on me or to be bombarded with all kinds of excuses and accusations. I am as real as real can get, I am not going to lie to you, so don't lie to me. If you're a face-to-face kind of person my door is always open to you if you want to travel to me...my fingers work so I can text or type if the method of online is better...and my phone bill gets paid every month and so if you ring that you should get me there as well. I work hard on all the things I've chosen to do in this life, I try my best to please myself and myself only. I have no care for what others may think of my way of doing things because apparently the way I do it pleases me and that's the most important person for me to live up to.

So in the end I can sum up that I am a loyal person. I'm not plastic wrapped and I don't candy-coat anything. I am trustworthy if you put your trust in me and show me and I can tell when someone is being sincere or bullshitting. I can give multiple chances because there have been times in life where I have required a 2nd, 3rd, 4th...etcetera try in things and if I were given it I was grateful and if not I was disappointed and moved on. I hope that everyone who reads this begins to understand who I am and what I stand for. I hope that everyone has a great rest of the week and weekend and stay true to yourself.